I change the content of this area once in a while just so the comments don’t make any sense.
Are you by chance bi polar? I know its kinda a personal question but your all over the place with mood reminds of me when i’m having issues. I stopped the medication and started holistic treatment and i’m better than i’ve been in years. It really helped. B vitamins like revitalize your nervous system and make the synapses fire better so eating foods high in b complexes and taking a vitamin supliment do a lot of good for mental disorders like bipolar/manic depression (which my doctor told me was the same thing). I’ve found loading my face with onions helps if it makes me unpopular with others but thats what the nets for right?
I don’t mind! I’m not, I’m pretty sure. To be bipolar you have to have the depression, generally persistent for a couple weeks, along with alternating periods of mania, which (for people who may not know) is a sort of high that is TOO high and thus leads to destructive behavior. I don’t get that. Some psychiatrists wondered about it, or maybe bipolar II, but I think they mistook my normal, perky personality for minor mania… And none of the meds for bipolar helped at all. So, even if I do have some form of it, it doesn’t matter. Nothing has helped.
I’m no psychiatrist but here’s my messy conclusions about my mental health. I have always had some social phobias stemming from low self-confidence and the need to not make mistakes (perfectionist), then I started getting panic attacks caused by birth control pills (do not take them), then my body used the trauma from the panic attacks to reconfigure my fear response system so that when certain triggers popped up (work, people, mistakes) I would get panic and debilitating depression. I also seem to have a looming existential crisis around and some blood sugar issues that throw me off on a daily basis, I am just really bad at not eating the things I’ve always eaten. All in all my body is really dumb. Think the only way to fix it is by changing the way my body responds to thoughts, and changing those very thoughts. Not really easy, but doable.
Probably more than you cared to hear, but I have a lot to say about it. Still trying to figure everything out. Thanks for giving me the chance to rant…
Yea I understand I was diagnosed with Bipolar mania II but they simultaneously diagnosed me with agoraphobia (fear of people) and a ridiculously high Anxiety disorder. The meds they put me on made me angry like i felt like the Hulk i was yelling at everyone and i’m not an angry person. Just getting mad makes me cry. So i went off them immediately and havent looked back. But the vitamins helped so that was a good start. And its more than ok if you wanna rant. Ive been there and I know what its like feeling bottled up with no one to express that to because the “Drs” arent crazy they dont understand fully. They study it they dont live it and what they wouldnt be able to tollerate we do on a daily basis. If you ever feel like you need to just talk email me or something.
Wow good to hear from someone who went through something similar. They also said I was agoraphobic, which I was, for a while. I still fear people but agoraphobics are pretty much afraid to leave the house (which I still am, but I am doing much better.) Thanks for the support, and likewise to you if you want to chat.
Well there are varying levels to all phobias im a functioning agoraphobic and i work in a theme park *which tells you how functioning i am* i still have panic attacks if i’m surrounded and i try to keep my back to a wall or a clear space so i dont get surrounded. My dad was truely agoraphobic to the point hed lock himself in his room and almost quit his job to keep him away from people. When my dad killed himself it made me open my eyes on my mental health to make sure i didnt get to the point he got to. He was bipolar but it wasnt medicated properly and he ended up a paranoid schitzerphrenic and it was hard to watch the decline. I just know i dont wanna end up like he did ever.
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. You are amazingly strong, have you realized that?? To overcome your father’s death and your own similar issues without giving in to despair. I’m kind of in awe. It’s inspiring, really. (always sounds cheesy to say that but it’s true)
Keep on pushing forward.
Well when i was a kid my grandparents raised me because my mom was working a lot and at the time my parents were divorced. Theres a lot of stuff in my background that would turn me into a victim my whole life but i refuse to let it. I really fought through it. When my cousin turned to drugs and running away when i was 10 years old to face all the family problems i made a vow to myself i would never end up like her. I didnt have a lot of positive role models so i used the negative ones as a what not to do. Its helped keep me on track cause as long as i can look in the mirror and not see the people I dont wanna become i’m on the right track.
That’s amazing. I had a very uneventful, stable, happy life until I didn’t. I know I am very fortunate in that way, and yet I feel it hasn’t prepared me for suffering. I just don’t know how to deal with it.
You just have to take it one moment at a time. And tell yourself that things can always get worse but only if you let them. Its your life your body your mind and YOU are in control of it all. I know it seems a little hackney and stupid probably but you really are your biggest opposition in feeling good. Not anyone else but you. So if you wake up every day with the attitude that today will be an awesome day and youw ill be happy. say to yourself every morning “today will be an awesome day and i will be happy” you can affect the whole outlook on life and make things better in turn. or as my mom likes to say “fake it till you feel it” its corny but it works.
Yeah I used to be good at the fake it thing. I convinced myself near the end of middle school that I loved school, because I hated it. Then I got addicted to schoolwork and would love doing it. I got all A’s instead of sleeping through class. Even nowadays when I see school supplies I get giddy. It is a scary powerful technique.
So yeah! We really need to be taught how to better control our thoughts from the day we are born! It’s hard to learn on your own, though still possible.
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