Back when I watched House in 2006… and when Lupus jokes were… already overdone. But I am fond of Dr. Igloo.
Edit: Warning: Here is some toilet humor. Literally.
Hmmm, y’know, I’ve been living with a boy for almost 2 years now, and I like it. Mostly. Women often complain about men leaving the toilet seat up. I’ve never experienced this phenomenon before in my own home, since my brother sat on the toilet like a girl (said he was just lazy at home but didn’t do that at school–probably a good idea (haha Andy you can’t stop me from telling everyone)), and my Dad is very neat, tidy, and considerate of others (although you could argue that women should put the seat back UP when they are done, but I would say since we don’t get to stand up for a quick pee we should win the convenience of not having to prepare the toilet before use). Now, I’ve never seen a toilet seat up living with Corey either. I didn’t even notice this wasn’t a problem until some other guys came to visit and suddenly the toilet seat kept appearing up! WHAT IS THIS!? Then I realized how great it was that Corey didn’t leave it up, but then something occurred to me… Corey is super lazy and not considerate! A mystery to solve…? No, wait, since I know Corey is super lazy it means that he’s too lazy to lift the seat up every time to pee. -__- I asked him about it and, yes, that was the case.
NOW, you’d think it’d be better this way. However, since the seat isn’t up, all he does is get pee all over the seat (it must be hard to aim…?). At first I thought he didn’t realize… then I thought some more… how could he not know, he is facing that direction. Women don’t always know because it’s behind them. I hope. I always check. (if you sprinkle when you tinkle…) He also, GET THIS, puts the toilet COVER down after he pees. No, no, no, something is horribly wrong here… Corey, too lazy to lift the seat, too lazy to lift it and put it back down, too lazy to clean pee on the seat… puts the cover down? … No… he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t… see the pee, then cover it with the toilet lid? No… NO!!!
Yes. Somewhere deep in his mind he has decided that if he can’t see it, it’s not there. It feels awfully similar to how our cats bury their own business. They have better reasons for it, I’m sure, but I feel it’s the same base instinct. Corey is burying his pee. Under the toilet lid. Things like this don’t usually get to me, but now it takes me forever to take a simple pee around here. I have to lift the lid, frown, then clean pee off the toilet. This is love, people? After all this time I decided to finally confront Corey on this.
Shan: COREY! Stop peeing on the seat and then putting the lid down! I KNOW you KNOW what you are doing!
Corey: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT =D
Shan: Every time I go to the bathroom I have to lift the lid and clean the pee. It takes too long.
Corey: I do what I want! (corey’s catch phrase)
Shan: COULD YOU AT LEAST PICK ONE?!
Corey: Hmmm, so I can either pee on the seat or put the lid down? …I’ll think about it.
Not much has changed, although I think he considers it sometimes. The other day I went up to pee, and he warned, “Don’t pee all over the seat!” So I took water from the sink, sprinkled water drops all over the seat, and closed the lid. I stood nearby when he went to the bathroom next time, snickered at the loud, “REALLY? REALLY?” coming from behind the bathroom door, and fled giggling when Corey came out to throw more “really”‘s at me.
This is a strange topic but I find it funny… I don’t think there’s much I won’t talk about… hope I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable.