I’ve stopped doing my work. Don’t tell! It’s been about four days now. Well, I do like five to ten minutes of work sometimes… but not much. I’m getting nowhere. I just cannot do it. Blocked.

I did do something weird though. I managed to make a five minute radio show for Corey. I wanted to give him something fun to wake up to in the morning, because he hates getting up. He doesn’t mind going to work, he just hates getting up. He’s tired. Wanna know a good reason he’s tired? He sleeps next to me. And what do I do? Well, let me tell you…

The first time I woke Corey up was a couple weeks ago. I do this about once a week it seems: talk in my sleep. I am slightly aware of it, too. I know it’s happening and in the morning I remember the conversation, but I have no control over what I am saying in the moment. The first time I kept saying, “I’m talking to CVS.” (the pharmacy, CVS. I know, it doesn’t make sense. What does a pharmacy have to talk about?). Corey, dazed and confused as I had woken him up, asked me,

Corey: What?
Shan: I’m talking to CVS.
Corey: …um… what?
Shan: I’m talking to CVS.
Corey: …what does that mean?
Shan (getting angry): What do you mean ‘what does it mean’!? I don’t understand why you don’t understand! It’s simple! I’m talking to CVS!
Corey: …Oh.

I was so annoyed at the time that he didn’t understand something so easy to comprehend, then in the morning as we looked back on it… I realized I had no idea why I thought I was talking to a drugstore.

2nd time:

Shan: *pokes Corey in the back, repeatedly*
Corey: …nnnn… what, what is it?
Shan: I’m trying to move you. *poke poke*
Corey: ? Am I in your space, I’m sorry–
Shan: No, I mean, you’re not in my way, I’m trying to BEND you. *poke prod*
Corey: ???

I was trying to make this curve in his back fat… not in a way that was humanly possible, mind you.

3rd time:

Shan: I’m selecting a black woman.
Corey: ???
Shan: Selecting a black woman.
Corey: Ugh…

I have no idea what that means either. If there is a playable black woman in a video game though, I am all about selecting her. I totally want to be a black woman. Maybe that’s what I meant.

So, my stress is causing me sleep problems I think. At least I’ve stopped gagging, since today. Maybe it’s because I’ve been completely ignoring my work, so I’m not stressed.

Radio shows are fun.